The Keeper

“The Lord is your keeper; . . .” -Psalm 121:5

When tragedies strike and decisions loom and I have no answers,

when I feel lost in emotions and confusion,

when I can’t stand up to the questions,

he keeps me.

He never sleeps.

He keeps me, and he never stops keeping me.

And to keep me, he has to be in the midst of it all with me.

I panic when I don’t trust that God will come through, when I don’t believe that he is more than enough. And in the panic, I think it’s up to me to figure it all out, fix all things, make the perfect decision or say the perfect word that will leave the least amount of suffering in its wake. But I can’t. And the keeper is there to pick up the pieces, to keep them, to keep us, wherever that may be.

Teach me, keeper, to throw your sturdy planks of truth over the mud-drenched ruts of my heart—lies that you are not enough, you won’t provide, you are not our advocate, you are not good—and to walk. You are good. Even when your mercy is painful, it is still mercy from things only you can keep.

Keep these things that pain me. Keep them tight. Keep me tight. Let me trust that you keep all the things I am grieving. I can’t keep them as hard as I try. But you can. And you keep me. I can rest there now.

“When all around my soul gives way,

He then is all my hope and stay.”

-“The Solid Rock” by Edward Mote, c. 1834

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?

My help comes from the LORD,

who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;

he who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, he who keeps Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;

the LORD is your shade on your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all evil;

he will keep your life.

The LORD will keep

your going out and your coming in

from this time forth and forevermore.